When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize