Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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