he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
