we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
