a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
These tits shall not be calmed
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
