Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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