I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
