So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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