just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
