i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
