McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
