According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This house was built for laser tag.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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