2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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