This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
