She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
