...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
