it hurts more in the daytime
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
