Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
