I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
