you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
