i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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