She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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