When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
