How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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