I love black thongs
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
