I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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