The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
