i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
