I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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