I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
