is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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