I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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