That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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