And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
