You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
