He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
