last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
