..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
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He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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