Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
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If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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