If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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