Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
