Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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