no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize