I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
