...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
