we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
no. you can't hotbox the world.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?