there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i need to put some appletini on your dick
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.