I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.