i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver