Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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