It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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