you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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