You're completely useless in the revolution.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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