I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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