look no pants
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
