how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
