first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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