I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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