Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
