Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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