I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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