she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
